I am Content.

Perhaps I wasn't as clear about muscle/fat in yesterdays post so I'll clear that up first. Of course muscle is denser than fat. So a lb of it is smaller. Which is why, though my weight loss has slowed as I approach goal, with the fat being replaced by muscle through regular exercise, I look like I've lost more than I actually have.

I plan to lose the last three lbs and give myself a 5 lb cushion to be lost very slowly as I transition to maintenance. I am all too aware that 7 months is not enough to permanantly change a lifelong addiction. The real battle is before me.

Being content with who I am is not the same as complacency. My Dr.'s goal for me was 170 # which at my height and weight and build puts me exactly at the correct BMI. I chose to make it an even 70# loss by making my goal 167#.

Being content with who I am means I won't get sucked into losing too much and then rebounding as a result. Being content means I'm accepting of my exercise limitations and arthritis and of my age wrinkles and laugh lines and overstretched skin and varicose veins and all the things over which I have no control (and no money to fix them, either, LOL).

Being content means when people compliment me or say things they think are compliments, after I get over being startled, because I forget I've lost the weight, I laugh and say, "Thanks, I have lost weight."If they express concern that I might get too thin, I just laugh and say, "Not a chance of that happening."

So much of beauty is attitude. I've got my athletic walk back and I carry myself with confidence and I am a smiler and laugher. I know how to dress and use make-up and fix my hair in flattering ways. I may even be a little vain LOL.

I know I look good again. I feel sexy in my clothes too (not naked, LOL). I was blessed with a very balanced figure, actually. When I was younger and thinner (but not skinny) I've heard it described as hourglass and svelt. The last few lbs and the reshaping have really melted a lot of the belly fat and given me curves again. I'll never be as thin through the middle as I was, but that's part of the aging process. Even the thinnest women seem to thicken through their middles while their hips look thinner, and extreme exercise seems to make them look even straighter. They lose their curves. I like having curves.

After 3 big babies (biggest 10 lbs.) a hysterectomy, and a big gain and loss leaving me with a lot of stretchmarked flabby flapping skin, I'll never have a tight trim waist or belly, but my curves are back.

I'm pretty sure I'm interpreting the looks I get the right way. Interest on the part of men I don't know and an awareness of me that I didn't see before on the part of some of the men I do know. Surprise and doubletakes on the part of many people I know. Lots of compliments.

In a way the attention makes me uncomfortable. Like, what was I before, chopped liver?But I also appreciate the attention and that people mean well.So keep that attention and those compliments coming. I'll deal with them the best I can. LOL

Mainly, I am content.

God is good, all the time
All the time, God is good.

Exercise and a Balanced Life

Exercise--there comes a point of dimishing returns with exercise. I had to make a decision how much of my life and energy I want to put into it. My blood pressure and pulse are excellent. My muscles are in good shape, my coordination has improved dramatically, I'm only going to try and lose a few more lbs, and I have a life.

I'm looking for balance in this area because its so easy for me to make an addiction out of exercise like I did with the food. I've done it before. It's ultra time-consuming and begins to rule my life. I don't want to go there anymore than I want to get back into the food.

I exercise between 30-60 minutes most days with 2 days off per week. Sometimes I'll walk longer on Saturdays, but during the winter that's enough. Summers I like to hike longer outdoors, but that's as much for pleasure as exercise as I enjoy being outdoors so much.

I'm not going to aggravate my arthritis working out much more than that. I'm not exercising that much more time than I did before weight loss; I've always walked as much as possible. Its just that I've added stair-climbing at work after I lost most of the weight, so I get a more intense workout. I'm also walking much faster and farther in the alotted time.

I think everyone's different and has to take into consideration where they're at physically and what their available time is. Actually, I think my weight loss has slowed down despite the increased intensity of the exercise because I'm replacing fat with muscle which weighs more. But my body is definitely still reshaping.

I'm really happy with my physical body. Not with the drooping wrinkled skin, but can't do anything about that. I'm just happy with how I look in clothes. I'm 5'9", 170 lbs, my pants are 12's and my tops are L's. That's normal. More normal than I ever hoped to be again.

My goal is to stay normal (not talking psychologically, LOL). I don't need to be skinny. I want to have a life with my grandchildren and children and be able to work to the best of my ability and have fun and be healthy.

I'm amazed at simple things like finding easier ways to get up from the ground. It was very difficult with two fake knees and its still not easy. Kneeling is extremely uncomfortable and with all the weight, gettting up from my butt meant I had to roll onto my knees, then push my butt up in the air and walk my feet towards my hands before full lift-off. Now I can roll onto my side while bringing one knee up and continue right into standing up without having to kneel first. Still a little awkward but getting better.

Being able to break my fall Saturday night and land like an athlete lands, without injury, that was incredible. These are the little things that make me happy. I still have to watch how I move, and how hard I move. It's very easy for me to over-extend or overwork my joints and spine and risk further injury. So I've learned the hard way to be careful with exercise and to be content with what I can do.

I am content, no matter what my circumstance.
I am content, no matter what my lot.
I know what it means to live in want or have plenty
I know the meaning of being content,
Is that I can do all things, through him that strengthens me.
Yes I can do all things, through him that strengthens me.