Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I'm adding real food, real liquid food. I had a small amount of cream of tomato soup today. I enjoyed every drop, and that's how I drank/ate it--drop by drop. At least I started out that way. Although I continued to eat drop by drop, I stopped being aware of the taste and the eating became automatic until suddenly my final swallow ended up right back in my mouth. Suddenly I was aware of the taste again. There's a Hindu philosophy/practice called mindfulness. I don't know a lot about it, but it sounds like trying to be aware constantly of all the tastes, sights sounds, textures, smells we are experiencing. It involves being fully present in the moment.

Food isn't the only thing I'm not mindful of or present for. In fact, food is one of the things that keeps me from being mindful of and fully present for my own life. It's just one of the drugs I use. I tend to inhale mystery books the way I inhale food. I'm so busy racing to figure out who done it I seldom stop to savor the writing (though frankly, most books aren't well-written enough to deserve that kind of treatment.) I read a book by Dean Koontz yesterday involving a character named Odd Thomas. It was incredibly well-written, so well-written I re-read paragraphs to figure out the meaning of odd phrasing, savor philosophical discussions, and delight in eerily beautiful descriptions.

Maybe you've seen the movie "Click" with Adam Sandler. Adam acquires a special remote that allows him to fast forward on automatic pilot those areas of life that bore him, or exhaust him. He soon finds he can't control the remote and it fast forwards him through things he didn't want to miss.

Mindfulness sounds to me like something I need to do. Be present in the moment. Enjoy every bite, savor every drop--not only of food but of life. Even when my ADHD takes me on unexpected mental vacations, I want to be more consciously aware of my thoughts. I often have great ideas. Then I don't write them down and I lose them.

I think Jesus lived in the present all the time. He was always fully aware of the moment. He rebuked those who tried to diminish those moments. "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Why are you bothering this woman, she has done a beautiful thing to me." And finally, fully conscious, "Father, into your hands, I commend my spirit."