Sunday, September 27, 2009

47 Lbs Down, 23 to Go

My body has changed so much since the last time I weighed this much. I've totally lost my butt and now have the typical Dutch flat wide back end of a bus hind end.I also had a fat abdomen but not a tummy. Now I've got 2 rolls and the bigger one is on top My waist is thicker, my hips are thinner and so are my thighs. If it fits my waist it bags on my butt and thighs. So what suits me is not currently in the stores. LOL. But I still look better in clothes than before, and want more of them.

A week ago I went shopping. I'm in between an XL and an L. Neither looked right. The mirrors and lighting in the fitting rooms are absolutely unforgiving. My body's fat distribution has changed so much from the last time I lost weight. My upper stomach sticks out more than my abdomen, but the abdomen has the hanging skin. My thighs are thinner but unbelievably flabby and flappy. My legs are full of varicose veins. My butt has become the typical Dutch butt--wide and flat like the back end of a bus. Once upon a time my figure was hourglass. That was depressing. I left the store and didn't buy anything.

Makes me want plastic surgery but I'll never be able to afford it. And I'm scared of the pain. Sounds worse than my knee surgeries, neck surgery, and my hysterectomy combined..Gettin' old is a real bitch.

My hysterectomy 10 years ago is partially responsible for the redistribution of my weight. Pregnancies, nursing, age and weight loss have warped the rest.

I went back a few days later. Bought some XLs and hope they shrink a little when I wash them so they'll fit a while. Today I used my cash back bucks to buy a really great pair of pants. My guess is nobody my age except the very rich looks very good without their clothes. I feel like I'm starting to look good in my clothes. That's a good thing.

My goal is to reach goal by my birthday, Dec. 30. Forty-seven lbs. down, 23 to go.

In my quest to remain thin and fight my food addiction I used and did a lot of things.

Weight Watchers
Jenny Craig
Thyroid with an unknown appetite suppressant
Overeaters Anonymous
exercising like a maniac
a religious group (lasted 2 meetings, too many rules, too much talk about gluttony, figured Jesus would not have attended either)
various supplements which I believe had extreme amounts of caffeine and who knows what in them.

I've lived 57 years. I don't even remember all the things I did and tried.

But I'm looking much better. 47 lbs off, 23 to go. Whoo hoo! Not there yet. This is the weight I was at the end of my pregnancies.

But my health is so much better. No more blood pressure meds or supplements. No more reflux meds since the Dr. fixed my hiatal hernia when he put in the lapband. I'm thinking soon no more cholesterol meds.

I've discovered Miralax and am no longer eating fiber like a madwoman to counteract the constipation I've suffered since a baby.

I walk 2-3 mi/day at least 5 days a week. Its the only exercise I can really do. Walk outside as much as possible to enjoy the view, fresh air and the sunshine when available. I do have a treadmill I picked up at a garage sale for $35 that I use when the weather gets bad. I can also go to the community center and walk for free on their walking track.

I have a lot more energy, which I need to keep up with the kids I teach and my grandkids. I have some issues, but with the help of the band, they're not driving me into the food.

God is good, all the time,
All the time, God is good.

And I can do all things, through him who strengthens me.