Thursday, January 21, 2010

Maintenance scares me. I'm getting a fill to help me maintain. I'm to the point where I just need a tweak. But I can eat too much, especially at night. I'm working on my issues. I don't journal my food, being ADHD makes me go crazy trying to keep track of details, it just makes me want to eat, so I journal my food-related issues on lapbandtalk and on my blog. I frequently focus on my ADHD, my codependancy, my arthritis related pain, etc.

I also work on my mental state by focusing on the good things in my life. Philippians 4:8 says, Finally brothers(and sisters), whatever is true, , whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Change your thoughts, change your brain, change your life.

I'm working on creating that paradigm shift inside my brain to help turn off the emotional cravings for food. I rely on God to fill the spiritual hunger, particularly through staying involved in my church, especially the music (praise) ministry, which for me is a whole body, mind, and spirit experience.

The exercise I'm getting and the high protein diet are actually very good for the ADHD. And I'm an Alanon veteran who knows the value of letting go and letting God deal with the dysfunctional people in my life. I still work the 12 steps when it comes to wanting to control people and places and things. That helps.

I'm practicing contentment, being content in all my circumstances, good and bad, knowing that I can do all things through him who strengthens me. That's from Phillipians 4: 11-14.

I'm also practicing balance, which is part of contentment. I don't want to get addicted to continued weight loss, or to exercise, or to work, or to church, or to people, or to anything. Maintaining balance helps me maintain balance in my food.I try to do what I'm good at and put my focus there instead of on trying to be good at things I'll never be good at.

As an ADHD person, I have others who keep me organized. I try not to let anyone guilt me into doing things I'm not good at or that will knock me out of balance.

What I do well, I make myself better at. What I'm good at is teaching. What I'm good at is building relationships with children that make them want to learn. I help them experience success and then make that snowball. I observe their learning style and find the blocks as well as the strengths and then I experiment with methods and materials that I think might help until I find what does.

I pour all my energy and love into what is an incredibly rewarding job, working with academically at-risk students from one of the communities with the highest rates of murder in the city of Chicago.

For relaxation and fun, I play with and take care of my grandchildren who always make me laugh. These things helped me lose the weight. They should help me maintain.