Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I am Content.

Perhaps I wasn't as clear about muscle/fat in yesterdays post so I'll clear that up first. Of course muscle is denser than fat. So a lb of it is smaller. Which is why, though my weight loss has slowed as I approach goal, with the fat being replaced by muscle through regular exercise, I look like I've lost more than I actually have.

I plan to lose the last three lbs and give myself a 5 lb cushion to be lost very slowly as I transition to maintenance. I am all too aware that 7 months is not enough to permanantly change a lifelong addiction. The real battle is before me.

Being content with who I am is not the same as complacency. My Dr.'s goal for me was 170 # which at my height and weight and build puts me exactly at the correct BMI. I chose to make it an even 70# loss by making my goal 167#.

Being content with who I am means I won't get sucked into losing too much and then rebounding as a result. Being content means I'm accepting of my exercise limitations and arthritis and of my age wrinkles and laugh lines and overstretched skin and varicose veins and all the things over which I have no control (and no money to fix them, either, LOL).

Being content means when people compliment me or say things they think are compliments, after I get over being startled, because I forget I've lost the weight, I laugh and say, "Thanks, I have lost weight."If they express concern that I might get too thin, I just laugh and say, "Not a chance of that happening."

So much of beauty is attitude. I've got my athletic walk back and I carry myself with confidence and I am a smiler and laugher. I know how to dress and use make-up and fix my hair in flattering ways. I may even be a little vain LOL.

I know I look good again. I feel sexy in my clothes too (not naked, LOL). I was blessed with a very balanced figure, actually. When I was younger and thinner (but not skinny) I've heard it described as hourglass and svelt. The last few lbs and the reshaping have really melted a lot of the belly fat and given me curves again. I'll never be as thin through the middle as I was, but that's part of the aging process. Even the thinnest women seem to thicken through their middles while their hips look thinner, and extreme exercise seems to make them look even straighter. They lose their curves. I like having curves.

After 3 big babies (biggest 10 lbs.) a hysterectomy, and a big gain and loss leaving me with a lot of stretchmarked flabby flapping skin, I'll never have a tight trim waist or belly, but my curves are back.

I'm pretty sure I'm interpreting the looks I get the right way. Interest on the part of men I don't know and an awareness of me that I didn't see before on the part of some of the men I do know. Surprise and doubletakes on the part of many people I know. Lots of compliments.

In a way the attention makes me uncomfortable. Like, what was I before, chopped liver?But I also appreciate the attention and that people mean well.So keep that attention and those compliments coming. I'll deal with them the best I can. LOL

Mainly, I am content.

God is good, all the time
All the time, God is good.