My grandson, Josh, is doing a little better today. Still in pain and very cranky. I just hope he hasn't given himself the start of some major neck problems.
I had a good food day and walked very briskly for an hour again. I lost my Halloween weight but I've been struggling with that 2 or 3 lbs for awhile. I found it really hard to get back on my food protocol this time. I had a lot of sugar and chocolate for a few days--less than in the past but it still probably whacked out my insulin because the cravings have been bad.
In addition people are hinting that my weight is now about just right for my build and age. I'm 183 lbs., 5'9", 57 yrs old. I'm looking really good. I feel great. I've upped the intensity of my walkout. Can't believe how fast I can walk now and how much ground I can cover.
My Dr. suggested 170 lbs as my goal. I settled on 167 lbs because that's exactly 70 lbs. off. It's very tempting to stop losing now. I'm thin enough to look good in my clothes and I'll never look good without them so I'm suddenly not sure I want to keep losing weight. However, every lb. off is more weight off my back and hips and knees and feet.
I still struggle with arthritis. I have to sit a long time after a walk and I never stop really hurting. It's better and I'm moving much more freely, but I'd like to be even free-er. Hanging upside down on my inversion table helps.
I miss the sun. I can see the sunlight from m window during the day but by the time I leave the school the sun is gone. I'm still able to walk outside but I'm not looking forward to moving indoors. My treadmill is in my stinky basement and walking round and round a track at the community center doesn't offer much of a view. Being outside exercising helps me so much with both depression and ADHD which helps me deal with the food. Indoor exercise is just not the same.
Ah well. I'll survive.
I've lost this much weight before but I've always gained it back. Eventually, the thought of trying to lose weight, only to face the prospect of gaining it all back was so discouraging I didn't even want to try. I'm getting close to the maintenance point. I'd like to make it a sticking point. In the past I didn't have the band as a tool. Now I do.
The part of my brain that's missing when it comes to knowing when to stop eating now has the assistance of my band.
Thank God for my band. Eating triggers my addiction, yet I have to eat to live. For whatever reason, God has chosen not to take away this thorn in the flesh. But he has allowed me to acquire a tool in my battle.
God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Mixed Bag
Came home from school and walked for over an hour today in the twilight. Had a good food day after a very Halloween chocolate weekend. But then I looked at Facebook and found my grandson Joshua had fallen on his head from a bunk bed and was in significant pain with his head and neck though the CT scans show nothing. He won't move his neck. I hope my daughter gets him to a specialist tomorrow. I don't trust small local rural hospitals. Josh would not lie still for the CT scans or the x-rays so something could have been missed. I love that little booger and he loves his grandma.
Please pray for him.
I'm seeing some great progress from some of my kids at work. I've also been able to increase the number of contacts with the kids so my program will hopefully bring in more funds. Next year is still very much up in the air as far as my employment is concerned. I've been working with the promotions committee to try to bring in more funds and more students. I'm just praying that these things will work out. People need to open their hearts and their pocketbooks.
Three or four city blocks from the school a young man was killed a few weeks ago. You may have seen it on the news. It made national headlines and Obama sent representatives to the high school the young man and his attackers attended. He was killed with a two by four. Meanwhile the children attending our school were safe inside in our afterschool program. I believe Roseland Christian School saves lives.
God uses us to give these kids hope and a future.
Please pray for my future and for the future of RCS and its students.
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah.
Please pray for him.
I'm seeing some great progress from some of my kids at work. I've also been able to increase the number of contacts with the kids so my program will hopefully bring in more funds. Next year is still very much up in the air as far as my employment is concerned. I've been working with the promotions committee to try to bring in more funds and more students. I'm just praying that these things will work out. People need to open their hearts and their pocketbooks.
Three or four city blocks from the school a young man was killed a few weeks ago. You may have seen it on the news. It made national headlines and Obama sent representatives to the high school the young man and his attackers attended. He was killed with a two by four. Meanwhile the children attending our school were safe inside in our afterschool program. I believe Roseland Christian School saves lives.
God uses us to give these kids hope and a future.
Please pray for my future and for the future of RCS and its students.
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
October--Tricks and Treats
Halloween. Tricks and treats.
My daughter had a party for a few couples before they and their kids all went trick or treating. My husband and I also attended. I came early to take my grandson David to his indoor soccer game first. David has just turned 5 and just still makes this age group for soccer. He stands a head taller than everyone else. Hysterical. David kicking the ball the wrong way. David, laying down and refusing to get up. David wanting to leave to get a drink of water in the middle of the game--which I could tell by his cheeks he really needed. David refusing to leave the floor when it was his turn to sit out. David looking everywhere but at the ball. David pushing the other kids.
David is mildly autistic and I'm sure most parents had no idea why this big tall kid was being such a pain. I had to walk out onto the floor several times to say to him quietly that he might not get to go trick or treating. Last year my daughter had the coaches permission to stay on the floor with him all the time.
He needs the exposure to these situations and the exercise is good for him, but you could just see the processing delays on verbal instructions. Poor kid.
However, when he got home his friends came over and then he got to be a police officer while his little brother was according to David, "Octopus Prime" (aka Optimus Prime from Transformers) and go trick or treating.
He handled being with his friends and trick or treating just fine. But the number of people and the noise level and activity of the soccer game were too much for him.
His "Octopus" Prime reminded me of a kindergartner I heard singing at school Friday (to the tune of Michael Jackson's Thriller) "Gorilla! Gorilla night!" Picture Gorillas dancing like the zombies in the video.
I have to admit I ate several small chocolate candy bars at my daughter's. She had a lot of slider appetizers and I ate some of that without putting it on crackers or tortilla chips and didn't pig out. But I couldn't resist the chocolate bars. I haven't had chocolate bars in months.
I'm glad Halloween is over. Next big temptation--Thanksgiving. I have several weeks to recover from October, which contained a 125th Anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School where I teach, a 40th high school reunion, my college's 50th anniversary celebration at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago, 2 two-day conferences, 2 retreats, David's 5th birthday party at Chucky Cheese, and Halloween. I'm happy and consider it somewhat of a miracle to have lost 4 lbs this past month.
My fill seems to work well to limit all foods except slider foods. So hopefully November will be mostly slider free.
My daughter had a party for a few couples before they and their kids all went trick or treating. My husband and I also attended. I came early to take my grandson David to his indoor soccer game first. David has just turned 5 and just still makes this age group for soccer. He stands a head taller than everyone else. Hysterical. David kicking the ball the wrong way. David, laying down and refusing to get up. David wanting to leave to get a drink of water in the middle of the game--which I could tell by his cheeks he really needed. David refusing to leave the floor when it was his turn to sit out. David looking everywhere but at the ball. David pushing the other kids.
David is mildly autistic and I'm sure most parents had no idea why this big tall kid was being such a pain. I had to walk out onto the floor several times to say to him quietly that he might not get to go trick or treating. Last year my daughter had the coaches permission to stay on the floor with him all the time.
He needs the exposure to these situations and the exercise is good for him, but you could just see the processing delays on verbal instructions. Poor kid.
However, when he got home his friends came over and then he got to be a police officer while his little brother was according to David, "Octopus Prime" (aka Optimus Prime from Transformers) and go trick or treating.
He handled being with his friends and trick or treating just fine. But the number of people and the noise level and activity of the soccer game were too much for him.
His "Octopus" Prime reminded me of a kindergartner I heard singing at school Friday (to the tune of Michael Jackson's Thriller) "Gorilla! Gorilla night!" Picture Gorillas dancing like the zombies in the video.
I have to admit I ate several small chocolate candy bars at my daughter's. She had a lot of slider appetizers and I ate some of that without putting it on crackers or tortilla chips and didn't pig out. But I couldn't resist the chocolate bars. I haven't had chocolate bars in months.
I'm glad Halloween is over. Next big temptation--Thanksgiving. I have several weeks to recover from October, which contained a 125th Anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School where I teach, a 40th high school reunion, my college's 50th anniversary celebration at Navy Pier in downtown Chicago, 2 two-day conferences, 2 retreats, David's 5th birthday party at Chucky Cheese, and Halloween. I'm happy and consider it somewhat of a miracle to have lost 4 lbs this past month.
My fill seems to work well to limit all foods except slider foods. So hopefully November will be mostly slider free.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Things That Make Me Feel Good.
It was supposed to be 65 and sunny today. I was so looking forward to coming home and walking outside. Well, the sun never showed up and it never quite reached 65. I came home and got dressed for my walk, walked out the door and was met with a steady drizzle. This has been an incredibly wet autumn. So I changed coats, put on a hat, and went walking anyway. It was still light enough to see the golden colors of the remaining leaves. But I would have loved to have seen them lit by the sun. I think I do have a little more restriction. Which is good because I'm really craving food. Especially carbs.
Ahh Vicodin. Used after surgeries and for all types of pain. Kept me up all night in addition to constipating me. Puts some people to sleep. Me, it kept awake. Made my heart race. Hated it. Don't understand how people get addicted to it.
Love Miralax. Its my friend. Veggies and salads have never helped with my constipation. Took tons of fiber. Worked, but gave me gas. Course, so does the band. Or the Miralax. Or the protein shakes. Or the Kashi bar. Or all the protein. After the band I made up a new saying, "Feel free to fart frequently."
Lot of Dr.s telling people to take Vitamin D. Sometimes put them on megadoses to get their levels up. But some people don't feel well on the megadoses. You know, I take over the counter Vitamin D with no side effects. No megadoses. I probably get about 2-4000 IU per day. I'm increasing it because of the lack of sunshine this fall. I think its really helped with my Seasonal Affective Disorder.
I need to share a tidbit about the cerebellum and exercise. It used to be thought that the cerebellum, at the bottom back of your brain, only controlled movement. Now it is known that it is the source of sequencing which is the basis of logic, higher level thinking skills and math. When you excercise you burn neural pathways that increase your sequencing skills, thereby making you smarter. A school whose students ran for half an hour before school every morning not only saw obesity almost eliminated, they saw dramatic increases in test scores.
So, get moving ladies. Maybe we should make all politicians, business leaders, insurance CEOs, and pundits go out and run every morning. They could use some logic skills.
I also read yesterday that 30 minutes of aerobic exercise increases one's sense of well-being for up to 12 hours. I walked over an hour today. In the rain. And I felt good.
God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.
Ahh Vicodin. Used after surgeries and for all types of pain. Kept me up all night in addition to constipating me. Puts some people to sleep. Me, it kept awake. Made my heart race. Hated it. Don't understand how people get addicted to it.
Love Miralax. Its my friend. Veggies and salads have never helped with my constipation. Took tons of fiber. Worked, but gave me gas. Course, so does the band. Or the Miralax. Or the protein shakes. Or the Kashi bar. Or all the protein. After the band I made up a new saying, "Feel free to fart frequently."
Lot of Dr.s telling people to take Vitamin D. Sometimes put them on megadoses to get their levels up. But some people don't feel well on the megadoses. You know, I take over the counter Vitamin D with no side effects. No megadoses. I probably get about 2-4000 IU per day. I'm increasing it because of the lack of sunshine this fall. I think its really helped with my Seasonal Affective Disorder.
I need to share a tidbit about the cerebellum and exercise. It used to be thought that the cerebellum, at the bottom back of your brain, only controlled movement. Now it is known that it is the source of sequencing which is the basis of logic, higher level thinking skills and math. When you excercise you burn neural pathways that increase your sequencing skills, thereby making you smarter. A school whose students ran for half an hour before school every morning not only saw obesity almost eliminated, they saw dramatic increases in test scores.
So, get moving ladies. Maybe we should make all politicians, business leaders, insurance CEOs, and pundits go out and run every morning. They could use some logic skills.
I also read yesterday that 30 minutes of aerobic exercise increases one's sense of well-being for up to 12 hours. I walked over an hour today. In the rain. And I felt good.
God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Retreats, Conferences, and Food
Been in recovery this week from a retreat last Wednesday from which I drove a couple hours to a hotel for a 2 night stay while attending the Christian Educators Association convention. When done I drove to another overnight retreat for my church. This time I stayed in my sister's cottage on the grounds where the retreat was held. That was great because the previous 2 nights I'd been in a hotel room with 2 other women. We had a great time, but 3 women and one bathroom and sharing a bed with someone not my husband does not lend itself to great sleep. I tried using a roll-away. Made every joint hurt.
So I basically retreated into myself after the first session and slept like a log all by myself in a very comfortable bed. Had a washroom to myself. Those who slept in the dorm complained of extreme heat.
I actually did not gain on the retreat. I lost 1 lb and another one the day after I got back. I didn't eat perfectly. Had some treats. But I must have really limited my amounts, so I survived quite well.
I was really not looking forward to all the sectionals and main speakers, but everything I attended was very good. Don't remember much but it was all good. Some of its coming back to me.
I attended a sectional about the brain-friendly classroom. One of the most interesting things to me was the importance of the cerebellum. It used to be thought that the cerebellum only coordinated movement. But its been found that it controls sequencing which is the basis for logic, math, and all higher level thinking skills.
A study was done where all the students at a school ran before school and charted their physical progress with blood pressure, heart rate, mileage and all that. At the end of the year only one child remained obese. But amazingly, test scores soared. Excercise stimulates the cerebellum, stimulating sequencing skills.
I also read today that excercising for a half an hour creates psychological benefits for up to 12 hours.
I wish I could excercise in the morning. There's just not enough time. I think it would help me concentrate more throughout the day.
Without my food to medicate my ADHD, I really could use the exercise to help with focus and concentration throughout the day.
I do exercise at night but I feel really unfocused lately during the day.
17 lbs to go.
I look pretty much within the normal range for my age now, but I'm hoping these last lbs will come off my stomach. I'll have a BMI of 25 which is what I'm supposed to have. My blood sugar was 101 on my last test, down from 126. I'd like it around 90. Then I know I won't have to worry about it anymore.
I'm on lapbandtalk with a lot of women who are single and working or who are married and stay at home. Its not that they don't work but they sure seem to have time to post a lot more than me.
I think I really need to finish my masters. If my job doesn't make it to next year, it'll give me more options. Not just in teaching but it will also give me as possible consultant or presenter for some of the educational programs I believe in. Or it would give me the credentials to start my own tutoring business.
Whatever I do I'd have to make up for losing health insurance. That's the down side. Sure hope the government comes up with a plan soon. What we have now is so unjust and government should be about promoting justice. Not insuring us themselves necessarily, but making insurance companies provide equal coverage without penalties for pre-existings and keeping premiums reasonable both for individuals and businesses and for the unemployed and unemployable.
If it weren't for Jesus telling me not to worry about what I will eat, or what I will wear, or any of those things, I might be going crazy. At least I'll be going into my future much more healthy, the Lord willing.
So, I am content, no matter what my circumstance.
I am content, no matter what my lot.
I know what it means to live in want or have plenty.
I know the meaning of being content
Is I can do all things, through him who strengthens me.
Yes. I can do all things. Through him who strengthens me.
So I basically retreated into myself after the first session and slept like a log all by myself in a very comfortable bed. Had a washroom to myself. Those who slept in the dorm complained of extreme heat.
I actually did not gain on the retreat. I lost 1 lb and another one the day after I got back. I didn't eat perfectly. Had some treats. But I must have really limited my amounts, so I survived quite well.
I was really not looking forward to all the sectionals and main speakers, but everything I attended was very good. Don't remember much but it was all good. Some of its coming back to me.
I attended a sectional about the brain-friendly classroom. One of the most interesting things to me was the importance of the cerebellum. It used to be thought that the cerebellum only coordinated movement. But its been found that it controls sequencing which is the basis for logic, math, and all higher level thinking skills.
A study was done where all the students at a school ran before school and charted their physical progress with blood pressure, heart rate, mileage and all that. At the end of the year only one child remained obese. But amazingly, test scores soared. Excercise stimulates the cerebellum, stimulating sequencing skills.
I also read today that excercising for a half an hour creates psychological benefits for up to 12 hours.
I wish I could excercise in the morning. There's just not enough time. I think it would help me concentrate more throughout the day.
Without my food to medicate my ADHD, I really could use the exercise to help with focus and concentration throughout the day.
I do exercise at night but I feel really unfocused lately during the day.
17 lbs to go.
I look pretty much within the normal range for my age now, but I'm hoping these last lbs will come off my stomach. I'll have a BMI of 25 which is what I'm supposed to have. My blood sugar was 101 on my last test, down from 126. I'd like it around 90. Then I know I won't have to worry about it anymore.
I'm on lapbandtalk with a lot of women who are single and working or who are married and stay at home. Its not that they don't work but they sure seem to have time to post a lot more than me.
I think I really need to finish my masters. If my job doesn't make it to next year, it'll give me more options. Not just in teaching but it will also give me as possible consultant or presenter for some of the educational programs I believe in. Or it would give me the credentials to start my own tutoring business.
Whatever I do I'd have to make up for losing health insurance. That's the down side. Sure hope the government comes up with a plan soon. What we have now is so unjust and government should be about promoting justice. Not insuring us themselves necessarily, but making insurance companies provide equal coverage without penalties for pre-existings and keeping premiums reasonable both for individuals and businesses and for the unemployed and unemployable.
If it weren't for Jesus telling me not to worry about what I will eat, or what I will wear, or any of those things, I might be going crazy. At least I'll be going into my future much more healthy, the Lord willing.
So, I am content, no matter what my circumstance.
I am content, no matter what my lot.
I know what it means to live in want or have plenty.
I know the meaning of being content
Is I can do all things, through him who strengthens me.
Yes. I can do all things. Through him who strengthens me.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Taking a Break, Getting Back on Track.
Catch up post. I'm going to be gone for four days at 2 retreats as well as 2 days of conferences. I was at conferences 2 days last week and I've already been at one long meeting after school this week.
My food was off last week but I'm getting it back on track. Almost a month of gray skies, cold weather and off and on rain do not help me cope with food. I still managed to get out and excercise but it was hard. I made it through to my reunions and the 125th anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School at the weight I wanted to reach, but then it was like I needed a break. If I can get back on track, that will make a change from past periods of weight loss.
Also trying to velcro my butt to the seat at those conferences was really hard, too. Food usually helps me do that. Candy all over, difficult meals to deal with, Halloween candy at home.
However, I'm getting some extraordinary compliments. Fifty pounds off and long hair flipped up in a new style had my stepdaughter, one of my pastors, and some co-workers telling me I looked incredible. My stepdaughter kept repeating, "You're beautiful. Just Beautiful."
Good incentive to get back on track with the food.
My food was off last week but I'm getting it back on track. Almost a month of gray skies, cold weather and off and on rain do not help me cope with food. I still managed to get out and excercise but it was hard. I made it through to my reunions and the 125th anniversary celebration for Roseland Christian School at the weight I wanted to reach, but then it was like I needed a break. If I can get back on track, that will make a change from past periods of weight loss.
Also trying to velcro my butt to the seat at those conferences was really hard, too. Food usually helps me do that. Candy all over, difficult meals to deal with, Halloween candy at home.
However, I'm getting some extraordinary compliments. Fifty pounds off and long hair flipped up in a new style had my stepdaughter, one of my pastors, and some co-workers telling me I looked incredible. My stepdaughter kept repeating, "You're beautiful. Just Beautiful."
Good incentive to get back on track with the food.
Conferences, Retreats, ADHD, and Food
Sun broke out when I got home tonight and its warmer so I had a nice walk. But I'm aching. I really prefer walking in the morning, I don't hurt nearly as much as I do when I walk after work. Gotta do my laundry. Didn't get to it last night and I need it for my retreat tomorrow, my conferences Thurs. and Fri., and my retreat Friday night and Saturday.Aargh.
Sleeping in hotels, sitting through long presentations. I'm going to have to velcro my butt to the seat to get thru some of this. I get a fill next Tues. I can really tell I need one again. I can eat dense meats in much larger quantities and no trouble eating anything else except bread.
I need more clothes but am in between a 16 and a 14. Don't want to spend till I'm down.
Shopping--I'm a Kohls and thrift store shopper. I know Kohls well and they've always got deals going. I don't like thrift store shopping but I can afford it. I pretty much dislike shopping. I also hate manicures and purses. I never get my hair done. I cut and style it myself. I dislike shopping for Christmas, too. Shopping overwhelms me. Online seems like an unbelievable hassle to me. Everytime I've ever ordered something from a catelog I've ended up returning it. That's more work than I care to do.
I buy one practical leather purse, as small as I can get away with, and use it till it falls apart. I only wear the most comfortable shoes, stuff like sketchers. I've never been fond of heels, pointed toes, or boots (unless they're for walking thru snow).
I think it has a lot to do with ADHD. I have no patience for shopping, or watching a hairdresser butcher my hair while I'm stuck in a seat, or not doing anything for hours while waiting for a manicure that will only be good for a day to dry. Forget pedicures. Not relaxing. Make me unbelievably tense. I feel totally trapped with all those things. Feeling trapped makes me want to eat.
I am also no domestic goddess. I avoid crafts like the plague. My closets overflow. I seldom cook, or entertain, or clean. I crave being outdoors. Teaching is a great occupation for me because I don't have to sit still and I'm constantly changing what I'm doing. Food helps me sit and get through stuff. It quite literally drugs me.
I've got 4 days of sitting ahead of me and I've got to try to do it without food. My band is no longer providing much restriction. So this will not be easy--4 days of sitting. I'd actually rather be teaching.
Sleeping in hotels, sitting through long presentations. I'm going to have to velcro my butt to the seat to get thru some of this. I get a fill next Tues. I can really tell I need one again. I can eat dense meats in much larger quantities and no trouble eating anything else except bread.
I need more clothes but am in between a 16 and a 14. Don't want to spend till I'm down.
Shopping--I'm a Kohls and thrift store shopper. I know Kohls well and they've always got deals going. I don't like thrift store shopping but I can afford it. I pretty much dislike shopping. I also hate manicures and purses. I never get my hair done. I cut and style it myself. I dislike shopping for Christmas, too. Shopping overwhelms me. Online seems like an unbelievable hassle to me. Everytime I've ever ordered something from a catelog I've ended up returning it. That's more work than I care to do.
I buy one practical leather purse, as small as I can get away with, and use it till it falls apart. I only wear the most comfortable shoes, stuff like sketchers. I've never been fond of heels, pointed toes, or boots (unless they're for walking thru snow).
I think it has a lot to do with ADHD. I have no patience for shopping, or watching a hairdresser butcher my hair while I'm stuck in a seat, or not doing anything for hours while waiting for a manicure that will only be good for a day to dry. Forget pedicures. Not relaxing. Make me unbelievably tense. I feel totally trapped with all those things. Feeling trapped makes me want to eat.
I am also no domestic goddess. I avoid crafts like the plague. My closets overflow. I seldom cook, or entertain, or clean. I crave being outdoors. Teaching is a great occupation for me because I don't have to sit still and I'm constantly changing what I'm doing. Food helps me sit and get through stuff. It quite literally drugs me.
I've got 4 days of sitting ahead of me and I've got to try to do it without food. My band is no longer providing much restriction. So this will not be easy--4 days of sitting. I'd actually rather be teaching.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
