Owww!!!

Ate a wonderful dinner at a Hibachi steakhouse. Ate slowly. Drank with the meal to help it slide through. Didn't feel pain. Drove home. Ow!

It just let up now. Delayed reaction? I wish my band had let me know sooner. I really need to get one more fill because I can eat too much at night. I mostly don't but I can. I was waiting because I didn't want problems with pbing over Christmas, and figured I'd really need the fill for maintenance stage which is only 8 lbs away.

As I lose the last eight lbs over this month and next the fat pad will shrink and I'll really need the fill. I found out my Dr. moved to California. Never did get to make a 3-month check up with him. He never did my fills. Now I know why.

I never got called back by the university I contacted to finish getting my M.A. I need to get ahold of a university that will work with me on getting my master's in reading. Unfortunately, I work when their offices work. I've got about 20 hours post-grad and tons of experience that ought to count for something.

I'm off next week but I supect the people I need to talk to will be off too. I wanted to start next semester but that might be asking too much of myself. I hate this stuff. So many forms, so many phone calls. All the stuff at which I'm no good.

However, those simple initials behind my name will give me more options if RCS goes under or the vendor hired to handle NCLB for Chicago Public Schools chooses not to hire me to work there.

I'm doing so well at my job. The weight loss has given me unbelievable energy. Now that its hard to walk outside I've been waking up early and going in to work where I walk the stairways (47 to the top floor), hallways, and around the gym. Got in 45 minutes this morning.

I'll need to go in early tomorrow to make up for tonight's dinner with colleagues. Also, I didn't eat much Monday, although I was at another party on Sunday night. Right now I'm kind of hoping to just lose a few lbs this month and not worry too much if I don't lose much else. January is another month.

Even though I'm working longer hours I have smaller classes and I feel like I'm at the top of my game teaching. I have built such good relationships with the kids. I have one good sized 7th grader who is frequently seized with intestinal issues just before lunch time. I always tell him, "Don't fall in."

Once he replied, "Don't worry, I know how to swim."

I once started laughing when I looked at one of my eighth graders who'd decided to shave stripes in his eyebrows. He'd been bragging to one of the other boys that "the chicks dig it." So I looked at him, started laughing, and said, "Chaka, I just can't take you seriously with those eyebrows." It was the first time I'd ever seen him speechless, while the other boys fell on the floor laughing. One of them came and gave me a hug after class and I understand it was the topic of lunch conversation that day. Nobody'll ever forget the day Mrs. Flory finally gave Chaka a dose of his own medicine.

My three eighth grade boys try to find more time to come to see me before they have a math test. One will show up before school. They'll eat lunch with me so I can go through stuff with them.

I have so much fun with these kids. To have to leave them would break my heart. I went to hear them play band or sing in choir at the Christmas program last Thursday. They'd been asking and asking me if I was going to come see them and hear them. I skipped my own church choir practice to do it. They were so proud of themselves. Amazingly, even the beginning band wasn't bad.

And I ended up having to get up in front at the last minute and help lead the audience in Christmas songs while the band members were changing into choir outfits and getting ready to sing. Didn't expect that. Had kids coming up to me and telling me how well I'd done. The whole thing was impromptu but fun.

God is good all the time.
All the time, God is good.

Thanksgiving, Tennessee, Teaching

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Went ahead and ate some extra but walked the hills of Tennessee and came out even. I love Tennessee. Even in November. Saw snow up close on the mountaintops, came down to pleasant weather. Walking was a workout but what a way to go. Gorgeous stars at night, mist on the lake in the morning, sunset glow behind Bay's Mountain. That's what I'm talkin' about.

Saw my sister and her husband. He's very ill and I wanted to spend time with him. Got to talk to my sister. I'm not a phone person so that was great. We also went to Ashville and got to see a lot of arts and crafts, but did most of my shopping at Mast General Store where they have everything. Got almost all my Christmas shopping done there.

This was a major holiday, normally an absolute stuffed to the gills holiday. I did eat stuffing (my favorite) but I was not stuffed. I enjoyed my food and all the leftovers over the weekend. The band definitely helped me walk away. I had to watch the quantities of slider food. But taking lots of walks and not just sitting around my sister's house helped a lot.

I really became aware once more of how much I need to move and be busy. With the weather going to be getting worse around here I know I won't be able to walk outside as frequently and some weeks (months?) not at all. Plus the walking doesn't work the same muscles as climbing all those hills in Tennessee and that definitely upped my workout. So I'm going to get to school early most mornings and do the stairs there for half an hour. Did that this morning. Didn't even break a sweat. Sixty lbs ago I'd have been covered in sweat after one or two rounds.

I'm also doing a hundred ab crunches on our ab cruncher my husband picked up at a garage sale. Don't really feel that either. My cardiovascular system has to be vastly improved.

I am having such a good year at work. My groups are all manageable, and remarkably well-behaved. They're making great strides in learning that I can almost touch. I have fewer kids whom I see more often in many cases allowing me to really tackle remediating their weak areas while strengthening their strengths. I'm better at using Love & Logic to manage classroom behavior. I'm getting better and better at teaching, period.

I love teaching. I feel so good when I'm teaching. I can't wait to get to my job in the morning. Seeing these kids faces when the light of comprehension dawns, watching them decide to take learning seriously, the enthusiasm for the novels they read and the new math techniques they learn just inspire me. The kids can't wait to get to my classroom. Even the 6th-8th graders are buckling down in ways that are amazing me.

I think there's been a sea change at the school. We lost many students when we cracked down on those not paying tuition, but the kids we're left with are coming from families determined to make the most of the dollars they're spending. I think its making a difference. Now we need to attract more of those families and students. With the Lord's help, I think we will.

Living With Uncertainty

I am gearing myself up for a possible job change. I was hoping to be able to not have any changes in my job or the way I do things, but that may not be possible. My school is having financial difficulties, which, if they survive the next year or two, could be a turning point for the school. If they survive.

My services as a supplemental instructor for reading and math are paid for by No Child Left Behind. I actually work for a vendor who is paid for by Chicago Public Schools. Next year the system will totally change. CPS is hiring a vendor to provide services to all the private and parochial schools. They do not have to hire me. My school will have to lobby hard to keep me but there's no guarantee.

So, I'm going to have to polish up a resume, just in case. Even worse, I think I'm going to have to start taking more post graduate classes and get a reading specialist endorsement on my certificate or a master's degree. Neither of which will make me a better teacher.

I'm not into titles or initials behind my name. I have no desire to take any more classes ever again in my life. I like seminars and training in things that interest me and I know will help me be a more effective teacher in an area in which I feel I need refreshing or am not accomplishing my goals.

My ADHD makes the thought of having to focus my attention on a boring textbook, or a boring professor, or having to write in a formulaic style and deal with footnotes and bibliographies in this crazy information inflated technobabble world, a nightmare.

I'm scared and I'm mad. I'm 57. Teaching is not easy. Especially at-risk kids with academic needs on the South Side of Chicago. This economy bites. My husband took early retirement when he could no longer get employment. I was hoping he would keep working and I would retire at 62.

Ain't gonna happen. According to my brother in today's world we all have to think as if we were 10 years younger than what we are. Hard to do when R&R for me does not mean rest and relaxation, it means repairs and replacements.

I've gone through major surgery on my neck to relieve pressure on two herniated discs and restore function to my right side. I still have considerable trouble with my neck. I've had shoulder repair, double knee replacements,, and a hysterectomy to stop me from bleeding to death.

And now I've had lap-band surgery. Compared to my other surgeries it was relatively minor. But its impact is just a great. I thought my co-morbidities combined with my osteo-arthritis were going to force me to go on disability possibly even before the age of 62. Now, I think I may choose to go into another field rather than try to keep teaching till the age of 67 when I'll be able to collect Social Security. But I do think my body will be able to keep working (although I'm not so sure about my mind.)

I don't know where God is leading me. So far he's taken very good care of me. I have to trust him to lead me in the right direction with my job.


I am content no matter what my circumstance,
I am content no matter what my lot
I know what it means to live in want or have plenty,
I know the the meaning of being content.
Is I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Yes I can do all things through him who strengthens me.